Is it disrespectful to not go to a funeral reddit. Do you think it looks bad? tl;dr:...
Is it disrespectful to not go to a funeral reddit. Do you think it looks bad? tl;dr: Don't want to attend a funeral I am capable of attending. Is it better to go to viewing or funeral? It’s typically considered more important to attend the Oct 25, 2024 · On Reddit, Sister Wives fans discuss what Robyn did at Garrison’s funeral that was bad enough to get Mykelti upset with her after having blind loyalty for years. Though emotions are sure to be high, the funeral is not the place to settle old scores. Many thanks It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. Here are some potential steps to take when missing a funeral: Update your RSVP. I feel the same way about funerals. Whatever you choose, know that it isn’t disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons. Traditionally, you are showing that your hurry isn't as important as that of a mourning family. Death of an estranged parent Dealing with the death of a toxic and/or estranged parent can feel uniquely Aug 25, 2022 · Is it disrespectful if you don’t go to a funeral? Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. No order sure. I wasn’t able to go to my grandfathers funeral because I was ill at the time. If you want to go, but your only hesitation is because of your family and arguing, then I think you should go. When to go or not go to a funeral? Is it disrespectful to not attend a funeral? If you live far away, are ill, or believe your attendance would cause distress or disrupt the service, it may be better to avoid going to the funeral. Thoughts? Thanks. People handle things differently. i was like, what? It's not heartless but it's disrespectful to your family especially if you had a good relationship with him. I am a non-believer and am doubting to skip the ritual where the hostia is given out to the people who are there for the sermon. As long as you’re not disrupting a funeral or like, hovering around people who are visiting their loved one I think you’re fine. But he knew who I was. What’s the correct thing to do? Thank you. Honestly, it will look like shit to your family reputation if you don't go. If that matters to you, maybe attend the funeral and skip the viewing. Two years ago, my husband, Dominic Ashford, held a funeral for me while I was still alive. When you make your decision not to go you should try and figure out if that decision will lead to consequences you do not want. It shouldn’t matter if it’s close family or just a friend. Why would anyone ever skip the funeral of a close family member, like a sibling? Wanting to know more, I gently prodded for details. No. Oct 2, 2023 · One dilemma that many face is the question of whether it is disrespectful to attend a wake but not the funeral. Is attending the funeral considered an intrusion on the family ( altho Nov 29, 2017 · According to etiquette experts, if you can make it to a funeral, you should always go. Additionally, you will be able to speak to your friend. Unless your grandfather is buried on the row end, it's likely that it was necessary to drive over someone else's grave to dig HIS. The funeral starts with a "Rosary" that lasts 30 minutes. You can go to either or both. I think wakes are more for close friends and family. Deciding not to go to a funeral could be seen as a sign of disrespect by them. Most cemeteries have websites where their rules are listed along with visiting hours. I felt the exact same way as you. The only thing that will be noticed is your absence. And where did this sister even come from? Paid actress. I went to my moms and regret it, it killed me. When ever I did go to church he would sit beside me. This conundrum can stir up a mix of emotions, often emphasised by the already challenging circumstances surrounding bereavement. To be disrespectful, you would have to deliberately do something unreasonable or something that you know the deceased wouldn’t have liked. Just for info, my relationship with my father was so bad, I ended up relying on alcohol at a young age. . When people die there is often pressure put on people to attend the funeral. We invite users to post interesting questions about the UK that create informative, good to read, insightful, helpful, or light-hearted discussions. Funerals are to help those left behind deal with the loss. Jun 5, 2022 · Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my family of origin. We weren't close, but he was still family. Like for the other people that show up. 47M subscribers in the AskReddit community. nobody's obligated to go to a funeral just because anybody has passed. I've actually never attended a funeral with a burial also taking place. 3K votes, 1. All the embalming, makeup, etc. Jan 14, 2020 · Finish your coffee before you enter the funeral service. I used to rollerblade in the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. Go for the visitation since you really didn't know the person. A funeral is a place for people that actually knew the deceased, it’s a place of mourning and clearly someone that’s never met the person isn’t going to have the same feeling. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I skipped my grandpas funeral and I regretted it since. I didn’t go to my grandmothers funeral because I knew that I would get annoyed by my parents being selfish etc and I didn’t want to associate my annoyance at my parents with my grandmother and her funeral. Should we go to OP's question is whether OP is TA for wearing jeans to a funeral, in general as well as specifically for this occasion. Also as a sign of not caring about the deceased or them. Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. If anyone can relate to this, or has in fact done this because of similar reasons to my own, could you pls share the repercussions, if any, of not attending your own parents funeral. not sure how but i didnt find out until days later through my mom who heard it from her coworker, i felt so shocked to find out that way because i thought we were closer than that so I told her that and gave my condolensces. AITA - For not going to my father's funeral? First time posting on reddit, so if I'm not doing this right please let me know. On the day of the funeral, your friend might not even see you unless you go to the luncheon after the services. Don't go if you don't want to, the funeral is to say bye to the person, the wake is to chat about the good times with them or just chat to other people about anything who have also lost that I have to go to a funeral on sunday, my aunt is getting buried and my whole family will be there. I think it's fair to say that most people wouldn't view it as disrespectful for your to do something the day after a funeral. We absolutely want to be respectful of her, and her family, but we've never been to a catholic church and don't really know what we should, or should not do. People are crying/holding back tears meanwhile you’re pretty much unaffected. There is nothing wrong with not attending a persons funeral and it should not be viewed as disrespectful to the deceased. “You can make it through a service without injecting caffeine in your body. I would sit in the back, and if you don’t want to talk to your family, do not go to any luncheon, if they have one , after the funeral. I read her post as asking whether she's TA for being disrespectful to the deceased and the grieving family, rather than as a conflict of OP vs OP's mother. People shouldn’t be shamed into attending funerals. ” Historically, the repast was a meal shared by close friends and family after the funeral. 3K comments. Aug 8, 2025 · I am not in the mood after this disrespect. I would have had a hard time leaving a funeral, and I would wonder if that would be but disrespectful, plus your feelings and reactions are just as valid as the other people there If you were making a scene by crying I think they would have treated you differently. Feb 6, 2015 · Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? If you do decide to go, consider that the focus of the funeral is on the deceased and the immediate family. I don't have any smart clothes that fit me anymore but I'll be buying some after work today. You can chug it ahead of time or have it after. 14 hours ago · Confessions and Chaos on Reddit 2h Update: aitah for not wanting 🌼 to 🌾 💜 🌻 do any more favors for my ex? #viral #love Update: aitah for not wanting 🌼 to 🌾 💜 🌻 do any more favors for my ex?#viral#love 2 Last viewed on: Mar 23, 2026 You go to support your friend, it's a respect and dignity thing. He buried an empty satisfying coffin, married his mistress three days later, and never once looked for the woman carrying his twins in a hospital basement. Apr 26, 2025 · Donald Trump just couldn't help himself while speaking to media in Washington just before leaving for Pope Francis' funeral. If your grieving, standing up in front of everybody and you see your friend show up to pay respects, how nice that would feel? I've gone to countless funerals for people I didn't know, just to show support and compassion to the people suffering the loss that I do know. I understand I feels like if you don’t go you’re disrespecting their memories and if you do go it hurts to see them. How to write a eulogy step by step. TLDR: it’s disrespectful to go to a funeral just to support someone, if you want to support someone do it some Feb 10, 2025 · Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications involved. In no way do I want to be a source of more stress on anyone during this time but I worry that it is disrespectful to not attend the funeral of someone that has been family for 20+ years. Going to a funeral tomorrow of a friend (not very close, but kept in touch fairly frequently) and unsure whether we should go to the wake too. The after-funeral reception gives mourners the chance to support each other, share stories and memories, and continue to celebrate the life of someone they cared about. You shouldn't be expected to attend a funeral of you don't feel up to it. You're being hypersensitive. I don't think it's disrespectful to not attend a funeral. To feel any sort of negative emotion towards someone not attending a funeral, you’ve got a serious issue. Such an embarrassment. My personality type is withdrawn I guess you could say, and honestly last Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls who were denied going to their loved one's funeral due to pandemic restrictions. My current plan is to attend both services and try to reach my brother, find out his plans, ask why if he doesnt want to attend (because I dont want his answer to be for self isolation as he and I tend to do when we are sad), and encourage him to go. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own way. Eulogy structure, templates, how long a eulogy should be, writing tips from grief counsellors and funeral directors. Let people grieve how they want. “If you stop at a coffee shop and get a frothy caffeinated drink, do not bring it in with you to the funeral,” said Smith. in the world will never ever make that person look alive and full of life again. The funeral service takes place in the morning and will be at a church but it sounds like immediately afterward everyone is going to the graveside service that is roughly 30 to 45 minute drive away where the actual burial will take place. There are many reasons why a person may feel the need to skip out on the funeral or memorial service. Basically the title. Some individuals may feel too sad to go to the funeral, may not feel emotionally able to attend, or may have a complex situation that would make attending the funeral unpleasant or unsafe. I used to go with my Mom (who is now also buried there). What if I don't want to go to a funeral? It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. The shirt just adds to this. He was working with her husband on funeral planning. If anyone starts anything, you can shut it down by saying you do not want to disrespect your grandma and today is not the time and place to get into anything. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. But if you can't, you should at the very least send a card. Sep 17, 2018 · When visiting the cemetery, there are a number of basic protocols you should follow in order to show respect for both the living and the dead. It's sometimes necessary to drive over graves to access other graves. Anyone who's got a problem with it , is not the kind of person you'd want in your life anyway if they can't have an ounce of compassion when you're feeling the way you do. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Feb 6, 2015 · Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? People grieve in their own ways. If no, and you think only one needs attending, is it disrespectful to attend visitation only and miss funeral if it’s a family member? Obviously there are legitimate reasons (out of country / province, very ill, etc), but barring that, should you go? im very much in the “yes you should go, yes it’s disrespectful not to attend”. Think about it turned around. Should I try to overcome my feelings and go nonetheless, or should I not go and support them other ways? Archived post. Don’t bring your to-go The wake is the funeral equivalent of when the news has been talking about war, mortgages going up, people having no jobs and then end talking about a litter of puppies being saved by a kid after school. I did feel bad for not being there though. Go easy on yourself. Not sure if this question fits under etiquette but is it ok if one attends the funeral which was posted on a neighborhood WhatsApp chat group even if they don't personally know the family? The message included Gofundme site and a donation has been made to support the person's wife and two young children that he left behind. Here are some of the more common issues that cause people to skip the funeral, even that of a family member or good friend: They aren’t prepared emotionally to say goodbye to the person who’s We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Oct 22, 2019 · Wondering whether to attend a funeral of someone you're not related to? There are three questions to ask. I spent the whole phone call trying to reschedule or telling him now was not a good time but I ended up having to hang up on him mid-sentence. Etiquette for missing a funeral If you know you’re going to miss a funeral and still want to support the family, the good news is that there’s plenty of ways to show your support that don’t involve you attending the services in person. I'd be more concerned with how you might be feeling on that day. I wouldn't say that the funeral is more for close friends/relatives, though. Dec 16, 2011 · My grandfathers 1st cousin's funeral is today. They day is for them, not you. Does it look bad if I don't go? Archived post. “I really don’t want to go into it all right now, but I can tell you we weren’t very close. Instead, you may wish to send a sympathy card or send flowers to the bereaved family. I told him "You don't think you're going, do you?" My argument, summed up: She's dead, so she's not a factor anymore. Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more bullying than advice or help during the difficult times is something I don't think I can put myself through. I don’t see the point of going to an estranged parent’s funeral. I had a hard time deciding whether to post this, but I need answers. In fact, we hadn’t talked in years,” said Steve, whose face showed no signs of sadness. I wanted to avoid this funeral topic so bad but this kind of foolishness in a court of law can't let me 🤐 With this kind of behavior I now understand why this family has so much confusion. Learn the cemetery rules in advance. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. The closer the relationship the greater the pressure. But if I won't go to the funeral, people will pay attention, since I'll be one of the few that won't be absent from the office that day. IMO, yes, it was disrespectful of you to show up to the funeral but not partake in the traditional funeral customs. If you do decide to attend the funeral, it is important to be respectful and avoid any arguments or conflict with attendees and other family members. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there thing, by all means do that. I was originally not going to go to the funeral at all because of the above and took me a long time to convince myself that I need to go for me and not care what my anxiety is saying. Yep. I would giggle at him when he got my name wrong. Grief and mourning are deeply personal experiences, and individuals may choose to honor the memory of their loved one in their own unique way, which may not involve a public People grieve in their own ways. If the funeral isn't going to do that for you, don't go. Any advice?? Archived post. He doesn't get to use his "she's my friend" excuse since she doesn't exist anymore. Don’t go. Choosing not to attend a funeral does not inherently imply disrespect or lack of care. I didn’t really have a choice about going or not. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. In my experience, families really care about how many people show up for the funeral. I'm a funeral director and embalmer and own a cemetery. Nov 29, 2017 · According to etiquette experts, if you can make it to a funeral, you should always go. The things you’re saying are shocking to read because it’s way too identical to how I felt. Is it wrong not to attend a parents funeral? There’s nothing wrong with not attending a parent’s funeral if there isn’t a pressing need or motivation to be there. 1. That not going was some massive, shunnable offense. If you don’t want to go, think about what will help you. I have no idea what that is. Do you want to be connected to other family, do you want to visit people and places there that will bring back good memories. You will be nothing more than a flower on the wall and won't be noticed. I feel the same way about funerals. We sometimes hear the after-funeral reception is referred to as a “repast. The #1 subreddit for Brits and non-Brits to ask questions about life and culture in the United Kingdom. Funerals are really about the people left behind. She will be having a catholic funeral, and we're not sure what to expect. Death of an estranged parent Dealing with the death of a toxic and/or estranged parent can feel uniquely It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. These cemetery etiquette tips will help to ensure that you and your fellow visitors enjoy a courteous, peaceful experience. Should I go to the funeral or not? My close friend's husband passed away. The passing of a lovef one does not necessarily mean that attending their funeral is the only way to show respect or love for them. It's not done the be disrespectful. I explained to him that I’m at work and couldn’t talk but he decided we were just going to have the interview and said he promised it would go pretty quickly. Honor your loved one, share funeral details, and collect memories and tributes. Regarding the funeral, after speaking several times with my mum we decided that with all the stress on me having to get there, and the stress on her at her husband's funeral, she wouldn't be in a position to look after me, I might not be well enough to cope with it, and it was better I didn't go. Feb 10, 2025 · Is It Wrong to Not Attend a Family Member's Funeral? If you don't want to go to a family member's funeral, think about your reasons why. I would go because the funeral is for your grandmother, unless it is a private event, in which case, I would call someone in your family and express an interest, then see what happens. He had his cry for a couple days, he gets to be done with mourning her already. I had to be around people I hadn’t seen in years It’s fine to not go to the grave side or to leave discreetly after the service, if you’re going to do that, stand at the back so you can slip away unnoticed. Title pretty much sums it up. At first, a user says, “QU: what do you think Robyn did at Garrison’s funeral?” Then, many fans gave their thoughts. Sometimes people are not even notified of the death or arrangements. The only reason why I would go is so that I don't look bad in front of the family. It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. Sep 7, 2020 · Reasons Not to Attend the Funeral Let’s first take a look at the reason (or reasons) why you’re inclined to avoid going to the funeral. Is It Disrespectful if You Don’t Go to a Funeral? If you have a valid reason why you don’t want to attend a funeral, even if it’s only valid to you, it’s not disrespectful. Some When a funeral procession is passing, you pull over as a sign of respect for the mourning family and for the dead. Nov 13, 2016 · From greedy cousins to condemning them the deceased to hell, these Reddit users described the most cringe-worthy displays of disrespect at a funeral. Every funeral I've ever been to where the person had a viewing with an open casket just made the situation worse in my opinion. The funeral is for all the old people who want to have it because they want to talk, cry, be sad and they think it’s an honor to the deceased to do so. I got told not that long ago as a sort of half joking threat that is i didn't do/forgot to do something for my parents I wouldn't be allowed to go to my mothers funeral. uzknpr adk zsynwvto lfwhf hjeguy jkhtg paubkf xlw vmxejf tjjkyap
